Advertisement

How Millennials Can Buy A House In Six Easy Steps

I purchased a two-bedroom, inner-city terrace in Sydney as a first home buyer in my twenties.

Here's how I did it in just SIX steps!

Step 1. Get hit by a car.

Wait. Come back. Don’t go lay down in traffic just yet.

Step 2. It needs to be an accident.

Fraud is a major criminal offence.

The Motor Accident Injuries Bill 2017 provided increased powers for fraud investigation and prosecution, with enhanced penalties for people lodging fraudulent and exaggerated claims.

READ MORE: What The Government Is Really Doing To Help You Buy A Home

Luckily in my case, an L-plater mounted the sidewalk. Fractured right leg for me, failed lesson for them.

Fractured leg. (Getty)
Step 3. Your injury needs to be bad, but not too bad.

Regulation on personal injury compensation and limits on damages started with the Motor Vehicles (Third Party Insurance) Amendment Act 1984, and has been further defined since. Now you need to suffer more than 10 percent whole person impairment in order to get a non-economic loss payment.

Doctors felt the lengthwise bone breaks I suffered would leave me with one leg shorter than the other.

They were wrong. I recovered fully, without having to use my compensation on further medical costs.

READ MORE: Sorry First Homebuyers, But Falling House Prices Won't Help You Much

Step 4. Find an inner-city suburb that hasn’t been gentrified by hipsters.

Needs to have a high crime rate. Like shoes hanging over every power line.

For the decade immediately preceding our house purchase, our suburb ranked 19th for robberies in all of NSW. Fun!

Hello neighbours! Holes in the bathroom wall. (Supplied)
Step 5. The house needs to be a dive.

The kind that makes prospective buyers do u-turns as soon as they walk in the door for inspections.

Ours had broken windows, no insulation, and a leaky roof. We couldn’t afford silly luxuries like showering without seeing our neighbour’s house through holes in our rotting bathroom wall.

READ MORE: Why People Aren't Buying Houses (Apart From The Money Thing)

Step 6. You need to start early.

The car hit me when I was two-years-old.

It took about 27 years of compound interest and investment to grow my compensation into a house deposit.

Let’s recap: Get cleaned up by a car. Accidentally. As a toddler. In 1983 (before damages legislation changed). Buy before 2011 (when the housing bubble started).

BOOM. You’re a home-owning millennial.

Otherwise... you’re screwed.