Why I Got Totally Barbecued For My Bad Bunnings Sausage Opinion
OK, so I hit a little snag when bagging Bunnings.
Stuff yas all. Seriously, just bugger off. Here's why.
Yesterday, it occurred to me that we were all missing the point of this Bunnings sausage sizzle saga.
As the nation raged over the merits of onions on top versus onions underneath, it occurred to me that this is a secondary matter compared to the fact that whole sausage sandwich is a dud.
Which it is. Let's be honest. It's average as hell.
As I tweeted yesterday, the bread is soggy and lifeless, the snags are cardboard, the condiments suck and the whole thing is second rate.
Well it is.
But for saying this, hate flowed.
Great vengeance and fury did rain upon me.
Never mind that I was right.
Never mind that coffee was once awful in Australia, but is now fantastic, or that craft beers have revolutionised a beer market once soaked with watery mass-produced horse wee.
People will not be challenged on the tradition of the bland Aussie sausage sizzle. The average snag sanga is sacred. And these people did not appreciate my $2.50 worth.
Many of them called me a flog. For the record, I've always thought that people who use the word flog are flogs, but anyway.
They even called ma blonk. Not sure what a "blonk" is, but I'd guess it's not good.
Anyway, then a thing happened. I slept on it. I spoke to a colleague or two, including the admirable Stephani Anderson whom you should follow because she's funny and thoughtful and wise.
And I realised that you can get all the gourmet wanker food you want more or less anywhere these days, and that the affordable averageness of the crappy Bunnings sausage is actually its appeal.
Some people on Twitter told me this in more polite terms, of course.
And they were right.
While aspirationalism is part of the Australian character, in some areas, we don't -- and indeed shouldn't -- aspire. Snag sizzles are snag sizzles.
And of course, there's the charity aspect.
So that's that. Roast me no more. I was wrong and you were right.
Now piss off, the lot of yas. I'm off to get a snag. And yeah, old mate below. I might just do exactly what you suggest.