Two Words Of Bizarre Motivational Gobbledygook No Cricket Fan Understands
There are several motivational phrases on the wall of the Australian dressing room ahead of the first One Day International against South Africa in Perth on Sunday.
The phrases are clearly there to usher in a new era in which sandpaper and other hardware supplies will no longer be used to alter the ball in the bowlers’ favour.
Australian cricket is not about cheating anymore. It’s all about positive words like "patience" -- a word which makes sense because if Smith, Warner and friends had been more patient, they'd never have resorted to ball tampering.
"Make Australians proud" is another phrase on the wall which rings true. Our cricketers and their board have finally worked out that they are role models, even if it took an independent review to help them work that out.
There’s the word "pressure", which is slightly unusual. What's the context here? Is it a reminder to put pressure on other teams? The meaning is unclear.
But there's one sign which is even less clear in its meaning. It's the one that says: "Elite honesty".
Yes, elite honesty. Which is... uh. What exactly? Nobody knows.
Now, obviously being elite is a thing, and the Australian team will hopefully be that from now on. Honesty is also a thing, which our cricketers need reminding of as often as possible.
But honesty is honesty. It needs no adjective. It is just honesty. How can honesty be elite?
Like "musical Vegemite" or "trustworthy politician" these are two words that just don't go together.
The origin of the bizarre banner quite possibly lies with new Australian coach Justin Langer, who has previously used the phrase "elite mateship" in the cricket context.
Come to mention it, it's not at all clear what elite mateship is either.
Anyway, the international summer of cricket is upon us, and we can't wait to see all that elite honesty out there on the pitch. Some elite batting and bowling after a woeful tour of the UAE might not go astray either.
Featured image: Anthony Everard / Twitter.