'Security Can't Stop Me. I Will Accept The Melbourne Cup Trophy In A G-String'
No. Make this stop.
Marwan Koukash is a wealthy, eccentric British horse owner who is said to be a billionaire and who owns Magic Circle, which is the third favourite for Tuesday's Melbourne Cup.
Should his imported English six-year-old gelding win the great race, there will be scenes at Flemington which could turn the presentation ceremony into an X-rated affair.
Koukash plans to strip to his G-string to accept the trophy. Yes, he does. He really, really does. Why? Because he's weird, that's why.
Koukash has been talking this up for a couple of days.
"My thong is built in such a way to make my private parts look bigger than what they really are," he told racenet.com.au this week.
Oh, dear lord.
Here at 10 daily, we were prepared to file this in the drawer marked "weird stuff people said but didn't really mean".
But no, Koukash appears to really mean it. In an interview with Bruce McAvaney on Saturday at the end of the Derby Day coverage, he doubled down on his threat.
"Listen, I always keep my promises," he said.
"I'll tell you something. Flemington will never see a better celebration, a more colourful celebration than the ones they will have on Tuesday should I win."
"I have my string ready, and no one no matter how much security they employ, no one will will stop me taking my clothes off and collecting the cup wearing nothing but my G-string."
Koukash then added that he would also be wearing his lucky tie, which prompted some interesting banter.
"I hope it's a long tie," McAvaney said, at which point the horse's trainer Ian Williams chimed in and said "It won't need to be that long".
Oh Melbourne Spring Carnival, you classy event, you.