Today, One Of These People Will Be Your PM
Place your damn bets.
Alright, Australia, let's have a look at your contenders for Prime Minister.
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IN THE BLUE CORNER... Peter Dutton
First up, we have Peter Craig Dutton, former Queensland cop and one of the most deeply detested members of Parliament -- 'Voldemort' was trending on Thursday morning, proving both that Dutton ain't popular and that y'all should read another book.
The former Home Affairs Minister -- formerly Immigration Minister, formerly Health Minister -- is from the right faction of the Liberal party.
There have been rumblings about him becoming the new leader for at least a year, but would he be any good at it? He certainly has the support of the right of his party, but questions have been raised about whether or not anyone in his own electorate knows who he is.
He's definitely retained the 'no nonsense' cop facade, but after resigning from the frontbench, managed to crack a smile or two -- Did he force it? Wait and see!
He also tried to assure Sky News that he "had a sense of humour", "liked a beer", and "would have loved to get every refugee and asylum seeker off Nauru and Manus Island and over Australia if he could", which is funny, because he could.
Of course, Dutton could still be Section 44-ed and found to be ineligible. Watch this space.
ALSO IN THE BLUE CORNER... SCOTT MORRISON.
Ahhh, the unexpected dark horse of Scott John Morrison. The former Immigration Minister somewhat disappeared from public eye when he lobbed the immigration portfolio off to Dutton and became Treasurer.
But ScoMo's back! He emerged as a candidate on Wednesday night, somewhere between Dutton announcing he was "working the phones" and Australia's government being set on fire.
Morrison hasn't officially announced his bid yet, but he could emerge as the more conservative candidate. There's speculation that Turnbull holding off a party room meeting until Friday is giving ScoMo time to get the numbers together.
PM ScoMo. Well, it would make headlines shorter.
STILL IN THE BLUE CORNER.... JULIE BISHOP.
Deputy Leader Julie Isabel Bishop already survived one leadership spill relatively unscathed; Tony Abbott might have rolled Malcolm Turnbull, but she held on to the position of deputy leader with apparent ease.
As Sam Dastyari told Sandra Sully today: "There's a joke that you could drop a nuclear bomb on parliament and Julie Bishop would walk right on out of there."
She was also just one of two senior government members thanked in Turnbull's Thursday speech to media, the one where he essentially promised to go down swinging -- the other was Michael McCormack.
But could the constant deputy become leader? She hasn't ruled out a bid, and Seven is reporting that Bishop is going for it, which Fairfax and Sky News have backed up.
For what it's worth, The Guardian's Katherine Murphy reckons that Bishop is more likely to run on a ticket with ScoMo -- again, as Deputy.
OH HELL YEAH WE'RE STILL IN THE BLUE CORNER... Malcolm Turnbull.
He might just pull this one off, folks. It's an outside chance, but his Thursday presser proved he's not going down without a fight.
He announced on Thursday that if the majority of the party room supports another spill, he'll call a vote, at which point he won't stand. In that case, ScoMo is likely to be the replacement.
That being said, he should probably get a few good hours sleep before going back to running the country. He looks like he's been up since Tuesday.