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Why Double Dipping Is A Double Nightmare

It's confirmed, double dippers are the worst and have been called out by science as being absolute grots.

We’ve all been there – you’re at a party, you’re having fun, Tony peruses the condiments, dips the sausage roll into the tomato sauce, eats it, you and Tony strike up a conversation about ball sports, Tony goes and double dips his friggin’ mouthy sausage roll right where his gingivitis riddled teeth have been, and thus, destroys your want for anything on the table now, lest Tony has also not washed his hands and touched every item, because if he is capable of this what else has he done? Is Tony the Zodiac Killer? Probably.

As Professor Paul Dawson, author of ‘Did You Just Eat That?’ recounted while speaking to Alex Hyman on ABC Radio Perth, Tony has now polluted the tomato sauce. So much so, “we actually found there was 1,000 more bacteria per millilitre in the dip from when you bit the chip than when you didn’t.”

And yes, I am aware they are talking about chips and dips, but it still applies to what Tony did.

Pure. Fresh. Hell. Nightmare. Get. Out. Of. My. Condo. Tony.

No one wants you here, Tony.

Professor Paul Dawson also conducted a series of experiments to determine if the five second rule is actually bad for you, and the results were very interesting. Hot tip: it’s better to do it on carpets.

“The carpet actually soaked up the salmonella we placed on it. The carpet fibres stick up and so there wasn’t much salmonella to be in contact with the bread and baloney we dropped. Most of us have probably used the five-second rule and not gotten sick, but again it depends on the surface. If you’re in a place where people are preparing raw food, it may not be a good idea.”

Who are you or I to argue with a professor? In other news, congrats to science for making your job to be dropping bread and baloney on the floor. Truly must have been the fun-est day at work.