Hey Ali, Here's How To Make Sure This Relationship Will Last
Now you and Taite are together, here are our tips on making love last the distance.
You did it! You made it through yet another Bachelor-related series and yes -- finally, we hope -- you have met the man of your dreams. Hi there Taite, if you're reading this. Nice work. Cute abs. And thanks for making our girl so happy.
Don't listen to the haters, we're actually really stoked for you. And we want this one to work. So we've worked with Lysn psychologist Gabrielle McCorry to get some tips for love longevity. You see, as you know, relationships aren't easy and getting through the lust vs love stage is tricky.
Yes, guys, the honeymoon phase is when people can be blinded by ‘love’ which unfortunately can turn out to be lust, and might mean the relationship won’t last the distance.
"First of all, make sure you know the difference between lust versus love," Gabrielle said.
"Both can be wonderful feelings, but if you are blinded by lust, unfortunately, this isn’t a solid foundation to build a relationship on. Sexual attraction is extremely important, but unfortunately it can cloud a person’s judgment and make them act a little illogically when it comes to their relationship. We’ve all seen it before or perhaps even experienced it first hand -- when a passionate relationship fizzles out once the banality of day to day life sets in."
Love is about wanting to spend quality time together beyond between the sheets, supporting another’s dreams and careers, motivating each other, meeting the family and just genuinely wanting to be friends with that person
Ali, we know you and Taite are happy as right now, but hey, we can all use some advice on making that last.
According to Gabrielle, you can both do some things to ensure you’re both aligned and heading on the same path together. Ready?
Have honest conversations
"Don’t be afraid to have honest conversations from the start," Gabrielle told 10 daily. "Many people will avoid letting their partner know what they truly want for fear of ‘scaring them off’. However, if telling your partner about your life plans and goals is going to scare them off, perhaps they’re not on the same path."
YOU GOT THIS, HOT TODD!
Gabrielle said that all good relationships require some sacrifice from either party from time to time.
"These can range from small things like letting your partner decide what to watch on TV, to big things like spending time with their family on Christmas Day instead of yours," said Gabrielle.
"Relationships are a two-way street and each person will have different core needs that need to be met in order for them to feel loved, secure and fulfilled in the relationship. Both parties will need to make small adjustments in their lives to incorporate another person in it and if your partner isn’t willing to make any sacrifices, then this can be a red flag."
Have mutual respect
Relationships should be built on both love and respect, but without respect, things can turn sour pretty quickly, Gabrielle told 10 daily. "A lack of respect can make a person feel rejected, marginalised, criticised and unworthy of love and support. A lack of respect over time can do some deep psychological and sometimes irreparable damage to a person so make sure you respect each other -- from your morals, ideals, career, family values and everything in between."
She went on to say that it's equally important to be true to yourself and your values and not to tolerate ‘bad’ behaviour from the start, otherwise it may continue down the track.
"Try to establish simple boundaries and expectations. Continue to be independent, divide your time between your new partner, family and friends, and not rely on the other person for your happiness. Likewise, it’s important that you give your partner their private time and space," she said.
Okay, and once you've managed to set all those rules in place, it's time to enjoy the relationship, right? Well, yes. But you do need to keep working to make sure you're both happy. Don't worry, this bit is all basically about being nice to each other.
"There are many things you can do to cultivate a great relationship that stands the test of time," said Gabrielle. "It's important to spend quality time together, be passionate but not obsessive, appreciate each other’s strengths and make sacrifices from time to time. Understand that the aim of a relationship is to support one another, not compete. Take pleasure in the little things and spend time laughing, enjoying new things and showing gratitude for having them in your life."
We're rooting for you Ali -- you got this!
Feature Image: Network 10