The 6 Bedroom Habits Playing Havoc With Your Sex Life
If you want to boost your sex life, ban this behaviour.
According to experts, there are a few things we all do in bed that -- if we want a little more action between the sheets -- we shouldn't.
Now we're not talking intimate gymnastic things here, fear not, we're talking normal, everyday things, that we all take from loungeroom to bedroom without a minute's thought.
Things like phones, tablets, pets, children... conversations about money... you get my drift?
Here are the six worst offenders.
Nothing says "ravish me" like a convo about the cleaning. Save those dull, to-do list conversations about who’s paying the phone bill or who’ll pick up carrots for dinner for the morning, said therapist Danielle Kepler.
“Obviously, couples need to discuss the logistics of the day -- someone has to pick up the kids or plan dinner for tomorrow -- but not in the bedroom,” she said. “There’s something about this type of discussion that can zap the intimacy and romance out of a room.”
According to a survey from Asurion, a global tech solutions company, the number one activity people participated in before going to sleep was using their phone. And that's a no-no when it comes to romance, Alena Gerst, a psychotherapist in New York City told HuffPost.
“When you’re on your phone or playing a game, you become so immersed in your online world, it’s as though the person sharing your bed is not even there,” she said. “When your partner says something or asks for your attention, you may not even hear them or tell them to wait because you’re busy looking at your screen. That definitely does not encourage intimacy.”
Same goes for reading the news or scrolling through your Twitter feed. In fact, it “creates the opposite effect of what you hope to happen when you’re turning in for the night and enjoying closeness with your partner. Ultimately, you have to put your partner first.”
Never work with animals or children
That's what they say, right, and if you have both in the bedroom most nights, the place doesn't feel like a destination for romance anymore, said Kurt Smith, a therapist who specialises in counseling men.
“I’ve counseled men who’ve complained that they come to bed and their partner is asleep in their bed with their child and it just changes how they feel about their bedroom ― it’s not their room anymore,” he said. “This can easily become a source of resentment, conflict and disconnect between partners.”
Same goes for pets -- get them off your bed and you may well... you get the drift.
Not keeping things clean
And by that we're still not talking about the sex -- more like the laundry. If you're not picking up mess and keeping the room clean and tidy then sometimes it's hard for any of us to feel in the mood... "Clutter kills intimacy," said Kurt Smith.
Taking work to bed
If you have work to do -- emails, a project, something for the meeting in the morning -- do it somewhere else. Nothing is a boner killer like being told to shhhhh when you're coming up with a winning way of starting a story about the benefits of tea. Or, ahem, so we've been told.
“You want to associate your bed and bedroom with peace and romance, not stress from doing work,” Kepler agreed. “Do yourself, your sleep habits and your partner a favour and keep the bedroom a no-work zone.”
Leave your fights at the door
Squabbling over the washing up or something more serious is a sure fire way to lose the spark when you hit the sack. Keep the convos out of the bedroom -- better yet, resolve the issue before you head to bed -- and you can, well let's call a spade a spade, you can have make up sex. Easy!
Feature Image: Getty