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69 Of The Funniest Sex Toy Searches Of 2018

Because nothing gets us going more than some "hate based lubricant", right?

According to sex toy website Lovehoney, we're not all looking for what we think we are when it comes to our love lives.  Or rather, we are looking for them, but we can't find them because we're searching for, well, something else.

There have been over six million searches on Lovehoney worldwide over the past 12 months.  Most of these searches are your stock standard c*** rings, vibrators and lingerie,  especially in the festive season. Happy holidays!

READ MORE: NSFW: All The Sex Toys Aussies Buzzed About In 2018

READ MORE: The History Of Vibrators Is A Bit Of A Buzz

However there are some searches that have even the experts scratching their heads. Thanks to autocorrect, the wrong tab being open and just plain bad spelling, there are some very confused customers out there.

Below are just some of weirdest and wackiest searches, but hey, no judgement.

  1. Make you duck longer
  2. Election enhancers
  3. Cockfosters extension
  4. Pension extender
  5. Masterbakers for male
  6. Master storyteller sleeves
  7. Prostate lasagne
  8. Blowtorch stroker
  9. Extra quiet clitoris
  10. Quiet rabbi
    Image: The Simpsons
  11. g Spotify
  12. Breaded dildo
  13. Rubber dodos
  14. Pipped pasty
  15. Nipple gardening cream
  16. Pies for woman to get horny
  17. Parents ribbed and dotted
  18. Bondage ape
  19. Lego restraints
  20. Sexist enhancer
  21. Sex tits
  22. Argue dildo
  23. Be warned balls
  24. Begging set
  25. Bleak lace lingerie
    Image: Getty
  26. Blue worthless knickers
  27. Fifty Shades of Greed
  28. Cock extinction
  29. Handcoffins
  30. Hate based lubricant
  31. Vaginal fighting cream
  32. Very berating pants
  33. Roast cauliflower with parmesan cheese
    Image: Getty
  34. Remorse Egg
  35. Repent rabbit
  36. Undead wear
  37. Ruthless panties
  38. Sorry panties
  39. Worthless dispenser panties
  40. Bishop vibrator
  41. Barman vibrator
  42. Turnip vibrator
  43. Parsnip vibrator
  44. Clint clamp
  45. Vibrators with Noodles
  46. Glasses with testicles snapped to them
  47. Darth Vader condom
  48. Extra sting condoms
  49. Pickled onion condoms
  50. Chicken Tikka Masala condoms
  51. Extra wine vibrator
  52. Make-up sperm coconut
  53. Love twiglets
  54. Family Guy sex doll
  55. Japanese dancing pants
  56. Loyal pyjamas
  57. Machine guns
  58. Meeting point in Bangkok airport
  59. Bike rake inside caravan
  60. Walking trails in East Falmouth
  61. Is drinking allowed on coaches
  62. Parrot sale in India
    Image: Getty
  63. North Korea
  64. Mild penis
  65. Mild vagina
  66. Outpouring Vegan
  67. The loo of love
  68. Scrotal parachute
  69.  Pogo stick dildo

You're welcome.

Feature Image: Getty