Australian Survivor 2018: Hell Hath No Fury Like A Commando Scorned

Spoilers inside.

Aaaand we’re back!

ICYM last night’s ep of Survivor: Champions v Contenders, Commando was voted to be ‘Dead Man Walking’ which means he’s unable to vote in the next two Tribal Councils.

READ MORE: Australian Survivor 2018: Dead Man Walking!

Whether that will affect his Survivor journey remains to be seen, and with Miss Universe Monika flipping the vote and turning on Steve and her fellow Champs, how will they feel about her betrayal??

With just seven Castaways left, sh*t is well and truly getting real -- so grab the popcorn and let's straight into it!

We kick off tonight's ep with the immediate aftermath of last night's Tribal -- and Steve is not happy.

Giving Mon a big ol' dose of reality, he reminds her that Fenella, Shonee and Brian don't actually do anything around camp, like collect wood, light fires, or, you know, any of the other essential things you do in order to survive in the wilderness.

He calls them 'leeches' and given that Brian's nickname is King of the Grubs, we feel that's definitely appropriate. We also know that Steve must be mad AF 'cos he's said more in this opening sequence than he has the entire series thus far -- and we are SO READY for a scorned Stevo!!!

Hell hath no fury like a Commando scorned.

Meanwhile, Shonee is lathering up King Grub's dirty back, and we suddenly feel the need to lather ourselves up in sanitizer just watching that.

Grub!

Ooh, look some tree mail!!!

But it's not good news, 'cos DMG Steve (that's Dead Man Walking for all you playing at home) must pack his bags and head off to Exile beach all on his lonesome.

Oh nooooo

That means no Reward Challenge for old mate Stevo, and he won't be back until the next Immunity Challenge.

How bad do you reckon Mon feels right about now??

*Sad piano music plays in the distance*

Anyway, Sharn wants Mon to know there's no hard feelings -- as long as she comes back over to the Champs side alongside her and Shane.

It's time for the Rewards Challenge, and Brian tells Jono that he's stoked Steve's in exile 'cos he's "always dreamed of being surrounded by beautiful women on an island" and yeaaah, gross.

Fenella also calls the group 'Grubby's Gals' which make us die a little inside, but then sass queen Shane Gould hits back with "not me!!" and her shade throwing gives us life again.

The Reward Challenge involves paddleboards, pontoons, and puzzles (we love some alliteration!) with the prize being an Indian feast complete with lamb and chicken curries, chutney and veggie samosas, aaaand it looks like I'll be hitting up Deliveroo for some butter chicken dinner tonight!

Shane, Sharn, and Brian are on one team while Shonee, Fenella and Mon are on the other.

BTW, Shane Gould absolutely ~slays~ the challenge, gliding through the water like it's nobody's business. Mon, on the other hand, overshoots the mark and starts paddling... backwards?

It's really quite the sight tbh.

halp.

Anyway, in news that should surprise absolutely no one, Sharn, Shane and Brian win the feast, providing the perfect opportunity for Shaneos and Sharn to woo him back to team Champs.

Also, the Indian feast looks fkn lit.

Where's my Deliveroo driver at?

Shane gets straight to business, telling Brian that she wants to split up #Shonella, but "like selling ice to an Eskimo" Brian isn't buying it.

He even has the audacity to basically say to them "lol I'll be sweet it'll prob one of you two guys going home," and Shane just looks at him with pure disdain like:

Nup.

Need we remind you Grubby????

Cut to Commando living it up on Exile Beach, and after like 5 hours there he already looks exactly like Tom Hanks on Cast Away. Honestly, it's uncanny!!

WILSONNN!

He also sheds a tear looking at photos of his kids and says "I miss you all, I'll be home soon," and we're officially ugly crying over here.

But no time for that 'cos Exile Beach has given Steve a newfound thirst for winning, and he declares that for the next Immunity Challenge, he's going to BRING IT!!!

The Challenge is basically one giant obstacle course once again involving balancing balls (lol).

It looks way too hard for us to fully comprehend, but we're hoping Steve gets through it so we can see him exact revenge on those who wronged him, John Wick style!!

Well, maybe not that far...

Anyway, Brian wins. And we feel sorry for Steve!! Not only is he unable to cast a vote at Tribal, he's basically on the chopping block considering Brian has immunity and is in alliance with #Shonella. Basically, it all comes down to Mon and which way she'll swing this Tribal Council.

TRIBAL TIME!!

Right off the bat, Steve is throwing shade all over the place and we want to live in it forever. It's great. We wish he had this much sass from ep 1.

Not wanting to miss out, Shane joins Steve in the shade sesh, insinuating that Shonee, Brian and Fenella have been cruising throughout the game without actually doing anything -- and like us, the jury is also living for the sass.

After Shane mentions that the trio doesn't know how to cook, cut wood, light a fire,  or survive in general, Brian bites back with "do you think you've been carried through by sitting out all those challenges???"

And wowww, if looks could kill old mate Brian would be leaving in a body bag rn after the face Shane gives him.

Commando hits back at Brian, saying,  "remember your age buddy, have some respect", and we love him even more.

Brian keeps on diggin' that hole, and soon throws Mon's name out there, saying she has also been "carried through" after sitting out challenges, and huns just quit while you're ahead.

Honestly, he's lucky he's got Immunity tonight, 'cos we all know what happens every time someone starts mouthing off at Tribal...

Anyway, it's TIME TO VOTE!!!

There are two votes Fenella, two votes Steve, two votes Sharn... So Shonee, Mon, Shane, and Brian must cast a revote. The suspense is killing us!!!

Jono recounts the votes... The tribe has spoken, and it's Steve whose torch is snuffed as he joins the boys' club that is the Jury Villa.

Australian Survivor: Champions Versus Contenders Airs 7.30 Monday-Tuesday on TEN, WIN Network and Tenplay.