Australian Survivor 2018: The Wildest Tribal Council We've Seen All Season

Our hearts!!!

Welcome back!

ICYMI last week, last week we saw our contestants endure a hellish water torture challenge, and we said goodbye to Sam in one helluva tense Tribal Council. With just nine Castaways left on Survivor: Champions V Contenders, the stakes are now higher than ever!

READ MORE: Australian Survivor 2018: This Hellish Challenge Had Fans Panicking

READ MORE: Australian Survivor 2018: Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold

We start off with Brian telling a story about sh*tting in the woods and Fenella telling us of her appreciation for “grubby bum Brian.”

Mat isn’t having it, however, and wants him G-O-N-E, and look -- if someone wouldn’t stop harping on about their bathroom habits, we would probs want them out, too.

Benji realises he just scraped through the last Tribal, and again calls Mat the Godfather. Sigh.

Mat tells Benji that he was THIS close to going home, and Benji’s like “IKR, let’s work together !!!!” and we’re hoping that Mat’s not stupid enough to fall for Benji’s weasel ways. He says he doesn’t trust him, and he’s not going to tell him who to vote for until just before Tribal.

Benji keeps making weird analogies, like “Mat just invited his killer into his office.” OK?

Knowing Mat DGAF about Benji, he goes to Sharn who (annoyingly) tells him that they’ll probs vote for Brian. After Benji leaves, she finds a clue at the well which details the location of a hidden immunity idol.

Of course, snake/weasel Benji starts backstabbing Mat to the other contestants and says ‘Godfather’ again like three times. He also blatantly tells Brian that Mat wants to vote for him.

Honestly, if I have to put up with any more of Benji, his made-up accent, and his use of the term ‘Godfather’ for much longer I will probably snap.

Aaaaand I spoke too soon ‘cos now Brian is saying ‘Godfather’ and says ‘the empire is going to crumble,’ FFS.

It's time for the challenge and this time it involves them burrowing under a log like some sort of kangaroo rat.

Then, the first six to get through have to complete a puzzle of the Survivor logo, and we're just glad it's not a physical challenge for once.

Brian smashes out the puzzle, and colour us impressed!! Mat, on the other hand, is struggling to get his sh*t together and complete the puzzle and he is NOT happy about Benji completing it before him.

Next up -- a game of pool! Well, kind of. With just Brian, Benji and Shonee left, the game is well and truly on.

Benji wins. Lame.

While everyone's celebrating Sneaky Sharn finds her immunity idol -- but as she goes to congratulate Benji SHE FREAKING DROPS IT IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE TRIBE. Everyone's just like...

She just laughs nervously and no one really says anything... We honestly feel so bad for her because it's beyond awks.

Back at camp, everyone's like "lol how awkward for you Sharn" and she's like "yeaaah woops!!"

Mat's rounding up the troops to vote out Brian, and Benji blatantly lies and tells him "I'm 100% in with you!!!" Ugh. I'm going to be so off it if everyone goes along with his plan.

Benji now has Shonee saying 'the Godfather' and my heart breaks too see my fave come to this.

Benji is also trying to get Sharn to play her idol by making her think that the tribe has her in their line of fire. Mat comes in and shuts that sh*t down immediately, saying the idol is "to protect us."

They also say that her dropping the Idol will be the GIF of the day, and woaaah, this just got META AF!!!

IT'S TRIBAL TIME!! And yay! It's Robbie and Sam on our jury, and Sam's had a shave. Fancy!

They all have a bit of a lol but then it's down to SERIOUS business...

Jonathan asks Mat about whether the Alliance has a vice grip on the tribe and Mat says it has to fall sooner or later -- but we can't actually be sure cos we're too busy looking at Benji and can't stop laughing about this...

There's more back and forth between the tribe and Jono, and when questioned about her voting strategy tonight, Fenella says "she's going with numbers," and Sam whispers, "She's bullshitting."

I thought jurors weren't allowed to talk or something but I'm living for the return of Sam's random interjections.

Everyone goes off to cast their vote -- and Shane literally votes for Brian because she thinks his humour is "too grubby" and we love that level of pettiness.

It's time to count the votes, and when Jono asks whether or not anyone would like to play an idol, Surprise! Sharn uses hers.

BUT HOLD THE GOD DAMN PHONE!!! As Sharn hands the Idol over to Jono, she declares that she's playing it for Mat!!!!

Benji's little plan has fallen apart right in front of him, and everyone's reaction faces has me dead and resurrected with life. Honestly, it's iconic.

After we recover from that shock to the system, we die again when Benji's like, "N-n-nuh... Don't play it for Mat! Play it for you!" like, what????? This is wild.

Benji tells her she's being played, and she should play it for herself. Then she does and WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING SHARN?!!!

Mat's just laughing and asks, "What's going on???" and Benji, like a broken record, is like "Nuh-nuh... You're getting played," and we're over here trying to comprehend this whole dramatic turn of events like...

Jonathan reads out the votes, and it's tied between Mat and Brian. But eventually, it's Mat who must go home. And Sharn realises she just got PLAYED.

This is bull. We're not OK.

DAMMIT SHARN.

What a rollercoaster! But on the plus side, in next episode, Shane Gould looks like she'll be out for Benji's blood. Which gives me a chance to reuse this da Vinci-level work of art I made last week.

Same time tomorrow, pals!

Australian Survivor: Champions Versus Contenders airs 7.30 Monday-Tuesday on TEN, WIN Network and Tenplay.