Australian Survivor 2018: Mexican, Margies & Bad Table Manners

Spoilers, peeps!

Hi friends, welcome back to Survivor!

Yesterday, fans collectively celebrated the elimination of resident villain Zach, as well as Anita, which saw our Contenders tribe drop significantly in numbers. Is tonight the night they finally take out an immunity challenge against the Champions??? Only time will tell…

It’s day 23 on the island, and we enter the Champs camp where we find the girls sunbaking, Commando stretching and Brian…. Walking around in his undies, which seems to have become a running occurrence this season.

This is my beach now.

Jackie’s talking about her alliances -- but we stop listening once it cuts to a shot of a shirtless Mat and Commando -- and we imagine the Baywatch theme playing in the far distance.

Some people stand in the darkness, afraid to step into the light ♫

Mat doesn’t trust Jackie -- and given she’s already lied to everyone by saying she’s a pro Rubik's Cuber, it's a fair call.

#NEVERFORGET.

We head over to the Contenders camp, which has become a far happier place since now no one has to listen to Zach talk about how strong he is and how crap the girls are.

Benji comments that they can all eat TWO cups of rice each now, and the girls sarcastically talk about how crazy it is that they managed to start a fire all by themselves, and we are absolutely living for all this shade thrown at Zach even after he’s gone.

Tree mail time! And it’s a letter saying there’s some treasure hidden among their camp, so they leap into action.

Experienced idol-finder Heath finds a treasure box -- hooray! And even better -- it’s their gifts from home that they previously lost out on receiving in a rewards challenge a few episodes ago.

Benji opens his gift, and it’s a toy baby dressed in a bandana -- which is like… Okay? But then the sad music comes on so we know we need to get ready to reach for the Kleenex.

Cheers nan.

He says it’s from his nanna, and every time he travelled she would hide it in his luggage, after which he would take photos of it around the world to send to her. He cries, and we now feel bad because contrary to what we thought last episode, it turns out Benji is human after all. Who would have thought??

Tegan ALSO cries opening her gift; it’s her son’s plush bunny that he sleeps with every night -- and we don’t remember asking for a ticket on the feels train ?????

Robbie gets emotional over a photo of his family, and honestly, we just want to dry his tears, hold him and stroke his perfectly-coiffed hair as we tell him everything will be alright…

Dry ur tears boo

AHEM. Back to the scene -- Heath gets a photograph of his adorable daughter with a message saying he’s “the best dad in the galaxy”, and cool, now we’re full-blown ugly crying.

But on the plus side, the prezzies have given our Contenders a renewed spirit and confidence, and they’re ready to kick some SERIOUS CHAMPION BUTT!!!

It’s time for a reward challenge! And the prize for this week is a full-on Mexican feast, complete with margaritas. Shonee exclaims that she talks about margaritas every day, and we realise we have more in common with her than we first thought.

*orders deliveroo*

The challenge involves jumping off a big-ass tower where they have to grab a rope before belly-flopping into the water. It’s way too stressful to watch, until we see that Commando and Mat are in Speedos so all is good in the world again.

We sure are.

Poor Monika is having a bit of a freak out ‘cos she missed the rope and had to start again, and hun DW, we wouldn’t even be able to make it up the tower without going into cardiac arrest.

She goes for it a second time and misses again, and we feel sooooo bad for her because it looks tiring AF and honestly we would just be sobbing in a messy heap on the beach at this point.

It’s third time lucky as she FINALLY snags the rope, but with that, she belly flops into the water creating a sound that’s more like hitting cement, and our insides recoil just watching it.

But there's no time for that, 'cos OMG! THE CONTENDERS WIN!

It’s their FIRST EVER rewards challenge win, and they’re fkn PUMPED. But especially Shonee, who again tells Jonathan how much she LOVES margies, and girl, same.

I FKN LOVE MARGIES JONO!!!!

She also makes a fabulous point that despite Zach complaining that they never won “because of the girls” -- the first day he’s gone they manage to win a coveted rewards challenge, coincidence??? We think not!

HOLD UP! There’s a twist for their feast -- they have to eat ONE BY ONE and take turns, so it’s probs lucky that we’re not there ‘cos we would unashamedly scoff the whole lot down if we’re being real here.

Tegan is up first and arrives to an actual MOUNTAIN of nachos, and suddenly we're ordering Deliveroo to drop us off some Guzman Y Gomez ??? Weird!!

Anyway, being the crafty lass she is, Tegan starts sniffing around the area for an immunity idol, with no luck, but oh well -- there's nachos and margies so she DGAF.

One by one, each Contender heads in to chow down on some nachos. They're all throwing down margs like the Uber's on its way, and it's a big mood.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!

It's Benji's time to stuff his face, and like Tegan he starts fossicking around for a clue, AND HE FINDS IT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE NACHOS PILE!!!

In celebration, he starts shoving nachos in his face like a damn savage in a nauseating montage complete with fiesta music. Suddenly, we don't feel like that Mexican food we just ordered.

This is nacho best look Benji.

Robbie and Heath narrowly miss the clue, but both are too busy eating and checking out that ~fabulous~ view to notice. Also, Robbie still manages to make eating like a malnourished bear look hot AF, so there's that!

Can we taco 'bout Robbie for a sec?

It's time for the immunity challenge! DUN DUN DUN....

It's all very Castaway -- think ropes, nets, and coconuts -- and look, I'm not totally sure of the specifics of the game, so here's a collage of my shirtless faves during the challenge. You're welcome!

Did Jonathon just say 'Nice toss, Robbie'?

It's a nail-biter, but once again the athletic prowess of the Champs overthrows the Contenders, so they'll be off to tribal for like the 13747th time.

Will Benji's weird Ameri-stralian accent annoy his tribe enough to send him packing???

Perhaps Benji will finally persuade the gals to get rid of his biggest threat, Tegan???

Or will they choose to eliminate 'weakest link' Paige???

Benji decides that now is the *perf* time to tell Shonee that he's "not actually a graphic designer and made a million dollars last year", so he doesn't even need the prize money!!!

Shonee is just as confused as we are at the absurdly random timing of dropping that info, but ok ??

Unfortunately for Benji, this seems to backfire, 'cos Shonee is like, "Well if he's not here to win the prize money then he needs to leave NOW" and yassss girl, preach.

Even better is that Benji is like, "Oh, don't tell anyone pls," and she's like "Oh of course," and LITERALLY A SECOND LATER tells Fenella. Love it!

TRIBAL COUNCIL TIME! 

The votes have been counted... and it's Paige.

But with just six members of the Contenders left, and each contestant paired with another in an alliance, how will the votes go the next time they must face tribal council ??

Until next week pals!

Australian Survivor: Champions Versus Contenders airs 7.30 Monday-Tuesday on TEN, WIN Network and Tenplay.