An Incomplete List Of Everything 'Eighth Grade' Made Me Want To Apologise For
Although 'Eighth Grade' is set in the present day, two decades after I was in year eight, it perfectly captures the timeless nature of teenagers being complete assholes to their parents.
Watching the movie will make you cringe and squirm, as you recall all the times you were so caught up in your own s**t that you never once stopped to consider how your behaviour looked from the outside.
"I wish you were as nice to me as you are to your friends," I recall my mum telling me once when I was young(er). I don't remember my reaction, but knowing myself, it was probably an extended exasperated sigh paired with an intense eye roll, as I stormed back to my bedroom, slamming the door for good measure.
In hindsight, she was perhaps making a valid point! Oh well!
Watching Kayla ignore her father's attempts to have a conversation with her in Eighth Grade, while she's lost in a world of Instagram and Spotify was all too familiar for me, despite the complete absence of social media in 1999.
Watching her shut him out, time and time again -- both literally and figuratively -- was an all-too-familiar story that I'd lived in my own life as a teenager.
Without further ado, here is a list of things I should probably have apologised for a while ago. It's incomplete, of course. These are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. I'm sure there are tens of thousands of other examples my mother could come up with, but some things are better left in the past, MUM. Move on!!!!!
Every time I read Betty and Veronica comics at breakfast instead of talking to my family.
Every time I replied "ugh, fine" in an exasperated tone as I walked to my bedroom and closed the door when my Mum asked me how my day was.
The time I made Dad take me and Stacey to see The Rage: Carrie 2 because we couldn't get in without a guardian, but then made him sit by himself.
... Also when I did this with Mikaela for Scream 3.
Every fight I had with either parent at the video store.
When I got bored with my paper delivery route and made Mum spend hours folding Messenger newspapers every week for me and probably never said thank you.
The time Dad annoyed me while driving me home from a shift at Maccas so I just turned up the "SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!! SHUT UP!!!" part of Linkin Park's "One Step Closer" really loudly.
The time I told my mum to go f**k herself in front of one of her friends from church.
The time I got sent to the principal's office for telling a boy I hated in class to go f**k a tree.
Completely ignoring Mum's instructions to not purchase CLEO or Cosmo and doing it anyway.
The time I got caught wagging school.
The times I did not get caught wagging school.
And the time I stole a bottle of rosé from the cupboard, drank it with a friend in the bathroom of a mall after school and then told Mum that I borrowed it to draw for art class and accidentally smashed it.
Eighth Grade hits cinemas from January 3.
Feature image: A24