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Lindsay Lohan Is Planning To Buy A Whole Damn Island

Would you visit an island owned by Lindsay Lohan?

Ahead of the premiere of Lindsay Lohan's return to television -- remember her Oprah-endorsed ~docuseries~, Lindsay? -- Miss LiLo has been everywhere making headlines like it's 2006 and you're reading this on your hip-top while a Supré salesgirl tells your BFF that the cool thing about that dress "is that you can just belt it to give it some shape!!!"

Just this morning, we've read her latest explanation for her ever-changing accent, which is nearly as indecipherable as the accent itself:

“Well, I think it’s because actresses even, I think when I’m around certain dialects it changes each time—[her business parter] Panos [Spentzos] even—and you just pick things up along the way.”

We don't get it, but we love it! Moving on!

READ MORE: The Cast For Your New Fave Show 'Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club' Has Been Revealed

READ MORE: Please Enjoy The Trailer To Lindsay Lohan’s New Film

Next, we read that she told Variety that she only ever auditioned for The Parent Trap and that every other part was offered to her. She said:

"I only auditioned for “The Parent Trap.” I would be terrified to audition. I don’t even know what it would be like. I think I would freeze. My agent asked me to read for something, and I was like, “I can’t.” I would panic. It’s such a different experience. I don’t think I could do it. Someone asked me to audition once — it was Oliver Stone for “Savages,” and I met with him and they wanted me to read, and I said, “I’m really, really bad at this, and I’m going to forget everything the second I start, so I might just ad-lib it.” And he was like, “You were great.” And I was like, “OK.” It was such a weird experience."

We, too, are "like, 'okay'"! Great!

Variety also asked her if she believed that there was a "Disney curse" on her and her fellow former child stars, to which Lindsay replied: "I don't feel cursed", something that we will be thinking about for the rest of 2019!!!

Next up, Lindsay stopped by Jimmy Fallon, where she described herself (twice!) as a "nurturing" boss, and revealed that she's planning to buy an entire island.

"There will, eventually, be an island," she told Fallon.

"That is fact," she added, before saying that she'd have to come back to talk more about that down the line. "One thing at a time!" she giggled.

She also talked about her Mykonos dance, feigning embarrassment and swearing that she was "never going to dance again" before promptly dancing in a Bird Box parody sketch.

The lies!

As we exhale and grab our purses to go get another coffee, we'll leave you with this final thought from her Variety interview:

V: Do you consider yourself a feminist?

Lindsay: "I’m just Lindsay Lohan. Whatever that is."

Whatever that is, indeed. Toodles!

Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club premieres today, January 9, only on Foxtel, Foxtel Now and Fetch, and huns... that. Is. So Fetch. HA!

Feature image: Getty Images